~Boss your HEART!!~

~~~~~THIS IS AN EXCESSIVELY LONG POST!!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am not really sure what I want this post to be about. I am struggling to organize all of my thoughts and put them into words.

About a month ago just before I headed to Pocatello for Keira's eye surgery I saw this quick little note on a friends Facebook wall post.

If you click on the picture it takes you to the site.

Having had 3 Open Heart Surgery's I was curious and I had just about 10 minutes, before I had to be going, so I quickly clicked over to see what this little girls story was all about.

I was instantly hooked. After seeing this sweet little girl and reading her story I couldn't stop thinking about her. She was heading into have Open Heart Surgery on the same day that Keira was having eye surgery. I quickly read through what I could about her story but I had to be going before I could find out too much information.

I thought about that sweet little girl the whole weekend that we were in Pocatello. I wondered how her surgery went and what was going on with her. As soon as we got home and got things unpacked I got online to get caught up. Being the type of person that I am, I didn't want to get ahead of myself so I started reading her blog backwards. I read from were I left off and continued on to the present time. (Ya, I know, I am weird that way!!) I found out that Chrissie had coded (heart stopped) soon after the surgery was done and she was taken back into the OR and they reopened her chest. They were able to get her heart going again. She was put into a medically induced coma to help her heal.

Three days later she coded again. This time the doctors worked for over an hour and were finally able to get her heart going again. The Dr.'s were unsure about Chrissie's brain activity. After being dead for over an hour with no oxygen to your brain the chances of being brain dead are really high. But amazingly Chrissie was still able to respond to her mother. When her mom would ask Chrissie a question Chrissie would squeeze her hand or raise her eyebrows. And a later CT scan showed no signs of brain damage!! WHAT AN AMAZING GIRL!!

While reading about Chrissie her mother kept talking about her Siberian Sensation. I soon realized that Chrissie was adopted from Siberia. And of course I had to find out more. I clicked on the link to read about her adoption. I was amazed by the faith and love that this family has.

To make a long story short, Lorraine (Chrissie mom) felt and urgent need to adopt. She contacted a few people and quickly learned about Chrissie. And she instantly fell in love with this sweet little girl. Chrissie was born with a heart defect and if it wasn't taken care of she would die. They found out that Chrissie would need open heart surgery to repair her heart and that it couldn't happen in Siberia. (They don't have he medical experience needed) Her and her husband talked about it and decided that they would adopt this sweet little girl and get her the help that she needed. What an amazing family. They knew that Chrissie was their daughter. They knew that she would need a lot of medical attention and they knew that they needed to do something. And they did it.

If you want to read Chrissie adoption story click here. CHRISSIE"S ADOPTION STORY

Back to the Heart surgery.

One day was particularly hard for Chrissie. Chrissie started bleeding internally and her stats (oxygen, heart rate, blood pressure, lungs) were all struggling. The doctors got really worried and had to do something. I am going to insert the passage from the blog so that her mom can tell the story.

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The team came up with their do or die plan to get Chrissie off the machine, and the first attempt failed. Chrissie's oxygen sats dropped down to 40, so they had to turn the ECMO back on. At that time, I went to Chrissie's side (she had been asleep, totally out of it), and I prayed Ezekiel 16:6 over her. "Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood, I said to you, "Live!", and the moment I said the word, "LIVE", Chrissie raised her eyebrows!!! I knew at that moment that Chrissie was telling me she was going to fight her heart out to LIVE. Dr. Kupferschmid said to keep doing whatever I was doing because her oxygen sats went up in the 90's when I spoke to her! I prayed over her, spoke Scripture over her, and continuously reminded her of how much we love her and how much we needed her to fight. She responded to EVERYTHING I said. Chrissie used the movement of her eyebrows to speak volumes to me as I claimed life for her broken body. Every time I told Chrissie that I loved her, she would raise her eyebrows, to tell me that she loved me back. The medical staff in the room (about 8 people) kept telling me to stop asking her to respond to me because her carbon dioxide sats were too high for her to be able to respond, but I told Chrissie to show them what her God was made of, and CHRISSIE RAISED HER EYEBROWS! Take that! My God is bigger than any paralytic meds and carbon dioxide levels that prohibit movement. Chrissie ministered to ME through her eyebrow talk!!! I knew she was going to fight her way through this.

There was a LONG way to go to get Chrissie off the ECMO with little time to spare. I started telling Chrissie to be the boss of her heart. (Chrissie is always looking for opportunities to boss someone around!) I told her to tell her heart exactly what it needed to do, and I explained it all in detail to her. Then I told her repeatedly to "boss her heart", and guess what?!? Right there on the screen of the echo machine (sonogram), Chrissie's heart started doing what it needed to do!!! Chrissie was bossing her heart, and her heart was obeying!!! The entire medical team witnessed it with their very eyes. I heard one person say, "There's no way." Another said, "Amazing."

So then the doctor shouts out for me to tell Chrissie to "boss" her lungs!!! I cracked up, but they were witnessing our God at work before their very eyes with medical equipment to capture it in action!!! So, I told Chrissie to boss her lungs, and I told her exactly what her lungs needed to do. I told her that her lungs were dirty/icky, and they needed to get cleaned up. I told Chrissie to send her lungs to the bathroom to wash up, and each time, they were coming back a little more clean, but not totally clean. So, each time that occurred, I would tell Chrissie to tell those lungs to march right back to the bathroom to finish getting cleaned up. They had to remove the icky carbon dioxide and open up and accept blood from her heart and oxygenate the blood. There was so much bossing to be done, but Chrissie hung right in there and bossed and bossed and bossed. She would tell me how hard she was working to boss her heart and lungs by physically shaking and moving her shoulders, arms, hands, and eyebrows. (This was all while she shouldn't have been able to move at all due to drugs and high CO2 levels!)

The doctors and entire medical team witnessed miracles before their very eyes. Right here in Chrissie's PICU room as I told Chrissie to show the world what her God is capable of. It was absolutely amazing. Seriously. Words cannot describe what we witnessed today. We went from a hear that was broken and collapsed, to a full heart where every chamber was beating perfectly and filled with the right capacitites, beating properly, pumping properly and doing exactly what a healthy heart would do.

We also went from lungs that were filthy and not filtering or oxygenating or removing carbon dioxide from the blood to lungs that were giving oxygen sats in the 90's while CO2 levels consistently dropped!!! Dr. Kupferschmid asked me to stay right where I was, doing exactly what I was doing while medical staff worked all around my daughter and me. Everyone was crawling through wires and tubes and machines just so that I wouldn't have to leave Chrissie's side. We only had "crawl" space available, but no one wanted me to move as God directed my steps and breathed LIFE into Chrissie. His life. Right before our very eyes.

Before we knew it, the ECMO had been turned off for 1.5 hours, as I "coached" Chrissie as God told me exactly what to say to her. She continued to communicate with me through her eyebrows. (She can't talk due to the intubation, and she had very little movement ability, but she forced her eyebrows to communicate with me!) So, the decision was made to convert Chrissie's PICU into an operating room (for the second time today) and completely remove the ECMO machine!!! I explained to Chrissie what they were going to do and what would be required of her, and how we needed her to continue to boss her heart and lungs so she could tell the world what her God is capable of, and Chrissie totally agreed with me by shaking her eyebrows up and down with absolute agreement and purposeful movement. She even cried. I cried, too, but I KNEW that God was going to save her and pull her through this. He was doing it miraculously before our very eyes.

We were kicked out of the PICU as the cardiovascular operating team moved in to do their stuff. (They all know us now and we know them...not something I wish upon anyone!) I told them that if Chrissie started to die, to come get me so I could tell her what to do so they could see our God at work. They assured me that they would.Matt and I, along with my mom, sat in the waiting room and prayed. A man from our church, Mr. Bill Taylor (who has faithfully come by to pray with us), led us in prayer before he headed out to donate blood. It was all in God's hands.

About 2 hours later, Dr. Kupferscmid bee-bopped with a glow into the waiting room and told us to come back into the room. She did GREAT! He was able to get the cannulas out and repair both the jugular vein and carotid artery. (He had planned to not repair them and just tie them off because he didn't think he'd have time to get them repaired before she bled out.) He opened the lower portion of her chest and sternum and drained off a lot of extra blood. Everything remained stable during this time, and Chrissie was successfully removed from the ECMO machine!!! This was impossible just a few hours prior. It was so obviously God. Dr. Kupferscmid rubbed Chrissie's head and said, "Amazing...just amazing." He shook his head in disbelief, but a smile and joy radiated from his face. Our miracle girl was alive!

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Tears were rolling down my face when I finished reading. What an amazing story. Her mother is such an amazing woman. She has been in the hospital everyday (I think that she has only left the hospital three times in the last month) it has to be exhausting.

Things continue to go up and down for little Chrissie. She has good days and some really bad days. But she continues to progress.

I have been reading this blog for the last 31 days. And I have continued to be inspired by this families story. The love that they have for each other and the support that they give to each other is something that, I think, every family should have. I have been completely consumed by their story or life. Any chance that I get I am checking for updates and wondering how little Chrissie and her mom are doing. I find myself constantly praying for them to be comforted and for Chrissie to heal. There are times when I would feel nervous about something and I realize that it was Chrissie.

Last night I could not sleep. I laid in bed wondering if things were still good with Chrissie. I kept telling my self that I needed to get to sleep, but I couldn't. So I finally gave in. I got up and read the most recent post about Chrissie doing good and that they were hoping for a quiet night with no major episodes. That calmed my nerves and I was finally able to sleep.

This morning I got up and got Kaiden off to school and then sat down to see if things went well through the night. This is what the newest post was.

Dancing with Jesus
Chrissie has gone home to be with Jesus. Her heart has been healed and now she spins and she sways to the Cinderella song with Jesus as her dance partner.

I just broke down bawling. I had to hurry and go jump in the shower so that I would not scare Keira who was sitting in the other room.

My heart is just broken. This amazing family just lost their little girl and their is nothing that I can do to be of any comfort to them. I feel like I know them and that they are a part of my family. Oh, how I wish that I could just give them a big hug and let them know what I know. They are a very faithful family and believe in Heaven and God, but they don't have the complete gospel. I wish that I could tell them that they can be together forever someday. That they can be a family in Heaven and that their little girl can be sealed to them FOREVER!!

I am so very, very grateful to have been blessed with a great family and to have had the medical procedures done so that I could be alive today. And for the Priesthood blessings that I have been given by my wonderful Grandpa's which have helped me through all of those surgery's. I find myself asking "Why was I able to live this life? Why was I able to make it through 3 Open Heart surgeries with no major complications? Why did Chrissie die and I live?"

I don't know the answer to those questions other than that God has a plan for me. He needs me here on earth more that he needs me in Heaven. Little Chrissie's time on earth is done. Heavenly Father has a much bigger plan for her in Heaven and he needs her there. Her short little 4 years of life and this last month of being consumed by her story has taught me so much. It has taught me that none of us know what tomorrow will bring. None of us know what the Lord has in store for us. And none of us knows when our time here on earth will be done. But now I do know that I want to make the best of what time I have here. I want to make sure that I live my life, everyday of it, to the fullest. I want to make sure that I am not being idol. That my family knows what they mean to me and that I devote all of my time and energy to living my life in such a way that I can accomplish the plan that my Father in Heaven has for me. Whatever that may be. So that when it is my turn to return HOME to my Heavenly Father I can honestly say that I did what was required of me and that I will be able to be able to be with MY FAMILY for eternity.

Thanks for listening to me. I hope that Little Chrissie has touched your heart too.